"A great marriage is not when a perfect couple comes together, it's when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."
Do you feel like you are not being heard in your own home by the person you value the opinion of the most? As if you and your partner have the same argument over an over again, like a DVD set on repeat? All you want is to connect with them so badly, but now thoughts of “this is hopeless” are finding their way into your brain. Maybe there has been a past issue or conflict – something from the past stopping you now from being able to move forward and connect with each other. I will help you both resolve past relationship triggers and traumas, learning how to connect again along the way and starting to feel a renewed love in your relationship. Additionally, we will use sessions to look at what causes these repetitive arguments, why they continue to happen even when you both know where they will lead, and teach you both tools to break this cycle, stopping arguments in their tracks before they get started.
I am trained in RLT (Relational Life Therapy) and EFT (Emotion Focused Therapy) and have found both excellent in helping couples reconnect in a healthy manner. EFT will help each member of the partnership recognize their communication cycle while learning some of the deeper, more hidden emotions that may be influencing the cycle and even keeping it going! In the course of our sessions, you both will learn and practice ways of more effective communication including how to have your needs acknowledged, recognized, and most importantly…validated. This leads not just to better communication on the surface but also a better fundamental understanding of one another, allowing you both to connect to the core of who you each are and what you bring to the relationship as well as what you need from one another (also called your attachment needs and wants).
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Every negative pregnancy test feels like a stab and that familiar feeling of sadness and hopelessness emerges. It seems like everyone around you is getting pregnant or already has children of their own. You feel so alone in your fertility journey. Whether it is multiple months or years of trying, using expensive fertility medications, IUIs, IVF, rainbow babies, or coming to a pause in your journey, it is one that can feel very isolating.
I have gone through my own infertility journey. I know what it can feel like to walk this path. The multiple doctors’ appointments for IUI’s and IVF or the struggles of trying and wanting something so badly but not getting it. You start to blame yourself and feel like something is wrong with your body. There is nothing “wrong” with you though.
One of my specializations with couples is helping them communicate and connect during this time versus turning away from each other, as so many do due to the inherent stress of the process and unavoidable changes medications may introduce into the relationship dynamic. Similarly, in working with individuals I will be there to help you process your grief, anger and sadness and learn ways to feel empowered and grounded during this process.
You thought that this would never happen in your marriage. You have heard about other people going through this, but you did not expect to cheat or have your partner betray your trust. The one who cheated is dealing with guilt, shame and feeling like nothing will be the same again. The one who is cheated on is feeling hurt, shame and fearful of it happening again. You both wish you could snap your fingers and things could go back to how they were when you both were happy and things were “good”.
One of my specializations is helping couples navigate their relationship after an affair. Using EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) I help couples navigate their individual and joint emotions, feel heard, and feel validated by one another in order to increase safety in the relationship and restore connections impacted by infidelity. I normally say we are not going to get the relationship back to “where it was” but that we are creating a “new foundation” and a stronger relationship where communication is occurring, feelings are being heard and validated, and each individual feels safe and secure. The past can never be changed; however, that does not mandate the future be bleak. Instead, this can be a fulcrum, a turning point to a more fulfilling, emotionally satisfying relationship where both parties know how to communicate more effectively.
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I am welcoming to all different couples and ways you show love. I have ample historical and recent experience with poly/kink/queer couples, as well as LGBTQI individuals throughout all stages of life and self-exploration.
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- Alina k.
- Anurita v.
- niki t.